Global — Ekhbary News Agency
Many individuals encounter a communication pattern where one person completely takes over a conversation, consistently redirecting every topic back to themselves. This behavior, known as "conversational narcissism," was coined by American sociologist Charles Derber in the late 1970s, who attributed its rise to the modern pace of life emphasizing individualism and the pursuit of social attention. While not a medical diagnosis, mental health experts use it to describe a form of dialogue resembling a "hostage situation," where it becomes challenging to reclaim the "microphone" from the speaker.
Understanding the Drivers Behind Conversational Narcissism
Dr. Sue Varma, an assistant professor of psychiatry at NYU, indicates that many who exhibit this communication style suffer more from a "bad habit" than from an intention to harm others. They struggle to let go of the obsession with being in the spotlight, and this behavior often stems from a deep sense of insecurity, compelling them to prove they are "interesting" to earn admiration. Some also experience anxiety during moments of silence, leading them to talk excessively to fill the void. Psychotherapist Wendy Behary adds that these individuals consistently manage to turn conversations into a core message of: "What about me?"
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Identifying the Signs of Conversational Self-Centeredness
Experts identify several recurring signs that reveal conversational narcissism. A prominent indicator is the continuous ability to "shift" any topic back to oneself, where the conversational narcissist links others' stories to their own and discusses their life and opinions without being asked. This is termed a "shift response." Furthermore, a conversational narcissist is not as interested in what others say as they are in their own role in speaking. They quickly lose interest if the conversation deviates from their preferred topic. Dr. Varma describes this as a "waiting to speak" gaze, where the person isn't truly processing what is being said but rather anticipating the moment of silence to redirect the conversation as they wish, reflecting poor listening and empathy skills.
